Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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