Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
