I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
