margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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