I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
