she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
