you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
