If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
