This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
