she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
