thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
