i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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