So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize