It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
