I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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