I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
