Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I CAN MOONWALK!
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
