he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
