What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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