She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
