Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Randomize
