Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
