walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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