just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
