No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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