@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
