I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
