Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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