I should be sponsored by Trojan
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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