So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
