He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
