wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
