How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
