My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
