i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
No subtext here. People are naked.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
