you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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