I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
