so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I want a musical about memes.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize