If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
