There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
