garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
