the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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