She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
