I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I need mimosas to revive my soul
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
