What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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