I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
