How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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