I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You were trust falling into bushes
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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