is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
He has the fingertips of a God
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