just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
