Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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