Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
