I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
