Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
