Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
