whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
