i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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