I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize