how can u be prego again
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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