just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
