At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
