So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
another moral hangover. fuck.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
