I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
