I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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