i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
