I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
