Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
