dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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